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"Bailiffs" (BBC1, Thu 8.00)  Is that ever a hard word to spell? Sorry. Just goes to hammer home an important point - Pay Your Parking Fines Straight Away! Seems to be the moral of the story here. The occasional forced entry, the odd eviction, and an awful lot of parking fines. Doesn't seem anywhere near as intimidating a job now, does it? Bearing in mind I love reality shows like this, getting an idea of what other people do all day, this one is boring me rigid, even less interesting than the Clampers one.  Might be because there's no real characters yet, but...

"My Family" (BBC1, Fri 8.30)  Despite the lack of Janey, this season is shaping up fairly well, they've made the dippy neice slightly less dippy and marginally more human. And what a story? Who hasn't had that nightmare, either your mother walking in on you, or walking in on your own children making the beast with two backs. I left my parents' house Xxx years ago (none of your business!) and I still worry they're going to walk in on me one day!

"Test The Nation" (BBC1, Sat 8.00)  Overkill time! As a one off last year this was fine, as an annual event it's dull. Dull, dull, dull. Phillip Schofield should stick to talking to glove puppets (and that includes that bird on the Lottery). No, I'm not telling you my result, but suffice it to say it was higher than the average in my region. Ha! *Dances round the room singing "I'm a brainy person"*

"The Fast Show Farewell Tour" (BBC2, Sat 10.30)  Why? TV shows rarely work as stage shows. Stage performances rarely come across well on TV. So this was destined to fail on two counts. And it did, even though it hurts me to say it. The musical extravaganza finale was beyond bad, and almost into the realms of desperate. And that's what we're expected to remember it by?

"I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" (ITV, All Week)  Or rather I'm Not A Celebrity, Get Me A New Career! Nothing to do with the ratings, Danniella "disappearing" was it?  Oh, no. The fact that she walked out about 2 hours after Sian the Weatherbird's eviction, right in front of the camera crews. Never. Funniest TV moment of the year so far, Wayne Sleep covered in toaster waffles with a rat on his head. If I never watch another minute of telly, that will stay with me forever. There's a few other alleged celebs I'd like to see that happen to, but Wayne will do for a start. I'm coming
round to Linda Barker, she's not as pretentious on this as usual, and AWT is turning into Man Of The Hour. Fash?  He can stay there for all I care, I want to see him & Wayne doing every single task. Forever.

"Murphy's Law" (BBC1, Mon, 8.30)  I'll be honest with you here. I haven't watched it yet. I videoed it, and haven't got round to sitting down to watch it. But I want to say this. A drama based in the seedy world of International Snooker?  And what's on the other BBC channel? The Finals Of The World Snooker Championship! Great bit of scheduling there Mr BBC! The audience for this could have been huge, except for that fairly fundamental error. Durrrr!

"Snooker" (BBC1 & 2 & Eurosport, all week)  It's all over for a few months, the Welshman done good, and if you looked very hard, you'll have spotted me a couple of times, looking all pensive (or something like that). That's all I need to say on the matter.

Finally, quiz answer of the week, raisins.


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