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"What Not To Wear"
(BBC2 Weds, 8pm) Any excuse to have Jeremy Clarkson on telly
and I'm a happy bunny. Jeremy Clarkson looking foolish for
whatever reason and I'm beyond happy and approaching
ecstatic. But are these "stylists" ever
bitchy?!? It's a shame they're both so skinny, I
don't think they've got the first clue about clothes not
fitting. Wouldn't you love them to suddenly be a size 18 for
the day, or is that just me? Ten, maybe fifteen minutes of
this programme would have been bearable, but the bile begins to stick
in your throat after an hour. Painful.
"Changing Rooms" (BBC1
Thu, 8.30) 100 episodes? Is that all? It
feel more like 1000! About time the designers got a taste of
their own medicine though. And it just goes to show they don't
listen to their victims, or take into account any hint of their
personalities when designing the rooms. Both of them did a room that
would be perfectly suited to THEM, but not to the person whose actually
lives there. But it's still the original house makeover show
(any pedants out there who want to tell me about Home Front, I know,
but Tessa Shaw annoyed me) and so much better than the cheap daytime
copies.
"Fat Friends" (ITV,
Thu 9pm) another new series, but at least this one's a bit more
welcome. I spent most of the 1st series wondering why they
hadn't got Lisa Riley in it, being in Yorkshire and all, and now, as if
by magic (or the shopkeeper in Mr Benn) she's appeared. What
did scriptwriters do before baby intercoms though? And what I
don't understand... at the end of the last series they hated
SuperSlimmers, and they hated Carol. So why are they all back
with her? Apart from the fact that the programme wouldn't
work if they all realised they've got the diet sheets, so they could
save the £3.50 a week by not going, and just following the diet at
home. This is obviously why I write ABOUT television and not
FOR television. Also, a quick word of advice for the set
designers. Leeds United sold Rio Ferdinand over the
summer. No self respecting Leeds schoolboy is still going to
have Rio poster on his bedroom wall.
"My Family" (BBC1,
Fri, 8.30) Thank goodness Zoe Wannamaker has finally done
something with her hair. This has slowly grown on me over the
last two series, a bit like a verucca, but slightly more socially
acceptable.
"Celeb" (BBC1,
Fro 9pm) looked so promising, it's a shame really. Harry
Enfield ssems to have decided to play the evil spawn of Mick Jagger, Rd
Stewart and the Gallagher brothers (what an awful mental picture), and
Amanda Holden is, as ever, playing a pouting plank of wood.
So a pretty impressive Victoria Beckham. I didn't think
things could get worse than that Adam Faith thing this replaced, but I
obviously underestimated.
Honestly! The sacrifices I make for the good of this
column. Against all my principles (I do have some you know),
I sat and watched "PopStars
- The Rivals" (ITV Sat, 7.15) And, I
wasn't in the least bit surprised. I guess they had to have a
woman on the judging panel just to stop it becoming
PornStars. Actually, that sounds like a marketable
concept. OK, well, I wrote it here first. Any tv
execs browsing through, I want a percentage when it gets
made. And no, there will not be regular PopStars updates in
this column. I'm not watching it again. I still
have some dignity.
Lorraine
mailto:lorraine@scribeweekly.com
Picture from http://www.bbc.co.uk/lifestyle/style/
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