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Dedications for Scribe Weekly
for Scribe Weekly
(BBC2, Mon, 9.30). It's a bit like
watching a car crash this. Sickening, painful, and you know
you shouldn't, but you just can't drag yourself away. Strange
programme, I think it's the evil twin of that awful Dale Winton early
evening thing with the couples. Same concept, different
set. Paul Kaye was actually LESS annoying as Dennis Pennis,
which is really saying something, but at least when he was irritating
celebrities he wasn't making third rate willy jokes.
Talking of celebrities, I bet none of the contestants on "I'm (not) a Celebrity, Get Me Out
Of Here" (ITV, all week) were ever accosted
by Dennis Pennis. I've carried on watching this all week, in
the vain hope it will improve, but no, it's dull, dull, dull.
They could have done with hiring the editing team from Big
Brother. At least they knew how to twist the coverage to
demonise one of the certain members. The Anti-Rhona edits are
so obvious as to be painful, I'm almost starting to feel sorry for
her. And now Uri has been released back into the wild, what
chance do we stand?
Please everyone, don't vote. If not for yourselves, then do
it for the good of the community. We don't need Darren Day
back in civilisation.
(BBC1, Sat, 6.50) I could do this. I could SO do
this! If only I could stand McEnroe's accent for more than 20
seconds without wanting to do him serious physical damage.
Maybe that's the real test? The questions are incredibly easy
until you get to serious money, and the contestants appear to be pretty
much brain dead. And I could do with the 50 grand.
Let me play, pleeeeease?
(ITV, all week, 10pm) Purely for review purposes you
understand. I watched this for you, so you didn't have
to. I've got no interest at all in gratuituous chest shots of
semi-naked firemen. Honestly. Believe me! Just out
of interest though, aren't Kerry Kitten's boobs getting bigger every
time she's on tv? She's going to fall over soon - you can
only fight gravity for so long. And what does she know about
sexy men anyway? She's married to the fat one from Westlife!
My knowledge of Wuthering Heights begins and ends with Kate Bush
wailiing for 4 minutes about a window. So I'm probably not
the most qualified person to comment on Sparkhorse (BBC1, Sun
9pm) Despite the lovely bits of Yorkshire (though I'm not
convinced all the shots of Hebden Bridge are actually in Hebden
Bridge), it's a bit over-pretty. Most Yorkshire folks I've
met don't look that good. Keep reading to the end of this
week's column, and you'll understand what I mean. Back on
subject though. Mobile phones, Land Rovers and piles jokes,
I'm pretty sure Emily Bronte didn't use any of those in her books, no
matter how modern an interpretation this is.
And even though I've never read the book, I could see that incest
storyline coming a mile off. Credit us with some intelligence
next time, eh?
"Dave Gorman's Important Astrology
Experiment" (BBC2, Sun 10.40) Oh, this
is beautiful. There should be much more Dave Gorman on
TV. But only Dave Gorman, not any of the other Dave
Gormans. I never realisecd following your horoscope could be
so entertaining. And as my horoscope says I should be nice to
everyone this week, I'm not even going to moan about that annoying
Alvin Hall bloke, or Dr Hilary Whatsisface being on the expert panel.
"The Tartiest Men in
Britain" (ITV, Mon, 10.30) I think
I've met one of them. No, not "met", just, well,
met. You know, the variety of met that doesn't involve loss
of clothing, dignity or reputation. Now, if these three guys
are so proud of their prodigious pulling skills as to want to boast
about it on national telly, are they also so stupid as to believe that
the same boasting will get them more success, and more women queueing
up to drop their knickers? Not likely. A whole new
year of students will be arriving in Leeds in the next few weeks, I
hope you were watching carefully girls! And, just for the
record, there are plenty of better places to go in Leeds for a night
from dave goreman.com click to visit