New Year  Retro Review

Celebrity Bashings








The Mid-Summer Christmas.
A Retro Review

Mary Poppins (Xmas Eve, BBC1) ah, sweet Julie Andrews, where would we be without you? "Awww, it's a jolly 'oliday wiv Mayreeey", and it would be a very dull 'oliday wivaht.

Night Fever: Beach Fever Christmas Party (Xmas Eve, Ch5)  Pass me the Baileys!  I need another drink to even contemplate this idea!  It's bad enough on the normal show, but Wham & Slade sung in bikinis?  No thanks, I'd really rather not.

Only Fools & Horses (Xmas Day, BBC1)  Five years in the waiting, and to be honest I'd rather have waited a bit longer if this was the best they could come up with.  The best joke was the one about Damien peeing in the pool ... from the balcony.  *Ba-dum-ching!* Gosh, I've never heard that joke before (it was the same one in my cracker at lunchtime)  Almost as much of a disappointment as that parcel that looked so much like a bottle of whisky, but turned out to be bubble bath.

The Queen's Christmas Message (Xmas Day, BBC & ITV, regularly)  I could say anything here and you'd believe me!  I was a sleep, you were asleep, even the dog was asleep.  HM Liz will have worn a nice new blue frock, expressed her delight about something, and her sadness about something else.  And probably said "My husband and I".  No-one watches, but we all have to
pretend we do. What's the point?

Graham Goes To Dollywood (Boxing Day Ch4)  What could be better when you're all hungover & bloated than Graham Norton camping it up with the owner of the second scariest cleavage in history (after the late, great Lolo Ferrari)?  Roller coasters, overweight American tourists, dressing up as
reindeer, and that truly frightening rendition of "Islands in the Stream" floating down the rapids ride.  Lovely.

Robbie Williams - Live in Cologne (Boxing Day, Ch4).
  Robbbbbieeeeee!  I love you!  That's all!


Next week?  New Year!