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"UK's Worst: Pet Shops" (BBC1, Weds 8.00)  OK, good idea, exposing some of the con-artists & just plain disreputable folks out there, but please, don't give me half a story then fail to finish it. I want to know more about how the lion came to be on the black market. And what, if anything, was done about the people involved. C'mon, tell me.

"The Food Police" (BBC1, Weds 8.30)  Feeling sick now. I never want to see another chicken as long as I live. This has always been one of the more interesting bits of Life Of Grime, so it's good to see a programme just about the food inspection side of Environmental Health, but, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.  I don't want my tea any more.

"The Brits" (ITV, Thu 8pm) and "The Baftas" (BBC1, Sun 9pm)  No More Award Ceremonies!  Please! Let's have a break for a week or two. And the Brits was as dull as a wet weekend in Skegness without people getting drunk and making fools of themselves.

"Celebrity Driving School" (BBC1, Mon 8.30)  Yes!  This is more like it! OK Nadia Sawalha serves no useful purpose, but we knew that already. I think Gareth Gates is just there to attract the 13 year old girls, he's not that entertaining, but is doing surprisingly well. However, someone needs to sit him down and ask him a few questions. As his pop career's going to be long forgotten by the end of the year, does he *need* a Ferrari? I think a financial advisor might be a better bet. Jade? Well she's milking every last second of her fame isn't she? Proving yet again she's thick as two
short planks & twice as useless. How does she manage to dress herself without assistance? And Paul "Lily Savage" O'Grady. Well, what can I say? Make Jade look like a fully functioning adult, and that's an achievement. I'm not sure he should actually be allowed past his own front door without adult supervision. Hopefully we'll get a bit of Natalie Cassidy & Simon Day next week. I can't wait!

"MacIntyre Investigates: Parents Under Attack" (BBC1, Mon 10.35) Not Donal MacIntyre's usual style, no undercover probing of illegal goings on, but a very well handled, sensitive look at one of the least recognised forms of domestic violence, children attacking thier parents. It would be all too easy to spot the common factors in these cases, and make patronising suggestions about how to put a stop to it, but that wouldn't be fair. Not an easy watch, but gripping all the same.

Finally, quiz answer of the week - Anna Ford's voice


Picture from BBC - Red Nose Day 2003 - Celebrity Driving School

Previous reviews

Lorraines predictions for 2003

UK TV awards 2002 the Lorr's    Lorraine's lyrical tribute to xmas TV

Issue 45   43  42     41 40  39   38    34   33    32   31  30   29   28  27  26   25  24   23   22  21   20

New Year  Retro Review  Christmas  Retro Review

Celebrity Bashings