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"TOTP 2 Comic Relief Special"  (BBC2, Weds 6.20)  I have a confession to make. I own a copy of one of the songs on this show. Not telling you which one though! I love Tops 2 anyway, but when they've been digging out the novelty records, then I turn into a giggling wreck in the corner of the room. Funky Moped anyone?

"Traffic Cops" (BBC1, Thu 9pm)  I'm scared. I had to look away a fair few times during this. I've driven some of those roads, and know how scary they can be when you're driving at legal speeds, let alone the speed some of these folks were doing. I think the programme makers have been reading this column too, I was very pleased to see the round-up at the end, telling the result of all the incidents featured. And I really loved the police officers talking to camera, telling you what's going on in their heads, made them seem (almost) human!

I was going to make this a "Comic Relief" (BBC1 & 2 Friday) special. But it was so abysmally bad, I couldn't make myself do it.

High Points - Will Mellor winning Fame Academy, Jade failing her driving test (and all the others too), Robbie Williams getting naked for my personal viewing pleasure, Eastenders, Jack & Kym.

Low Points - Carol Vorderman, Ruby Wax, Vic & Bob, half the celebs on Celeb Driving School not bothering to turn up.
It seems to have lost it's way a bit of late, Yes they still make the money, but part of that is the double guilt trip in every school, office and shop across the country - if you don't donate you're both mean and have no sense of humour. But it's just not funny.

I wish I could explain why I ended up watching "Barbara" (ITV, Sun, 7pm)  I guess it's just one of life's little mysteries. But I found myself in front of the tv, gritting my teeth, waiting for the woman out of Duty Free & the bloke out of Allo Allo. And you know what? I almost enjoyed it. It was actually funny. Not David Brent funny, but funny compared to the average episode of Friends.Teach me not to be so cynical in future, eh?

"Holiday Airport Lanzarote" (ITV, Mon 9pm)  Drunk people, hopeless incompetent who shouldn't be allowed to the end of their road without adult supervision, let alone overseas, and a twelve year old pretending to work for an airline.Cringe making,supremely irritating, I love it of course!

Finally, quiz answer of the week - Shane Richie, Danny Baker and Dale Winton.




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