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"Human Senses" (BBC1, Mon 8.30)  Are they having me on?  There wasn't a man
in a monkey suit was there? Weird but fascinating, I can't turn the series off. Think it's taste next week, give me marmite!

"The Vault" (ITV, Sat 8.15)  Back for a second series, with one major improvement... No Davina! Melanie Sykes is better than I anticipated, game show dolly birds aren't always great hosts, and I think Des has toned her accent down a bit. At least I had some idea of what she was saying, often helps with quizzes. Still haven't managed to get through on the phone line, but I've got to keep trying. I could do with the ten grand. Oh yes.

"Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps"  (BBC2, Mon 9.30) Oooooooooh! 
Series 3. Excellent. I keep thinking this can't be as good as I remember it, like those orange & lemon slices you have at Christmas, and just like to orange & lemon slices it IS, if not better. Nothing changes, none of the characters develop, Louise is still entirely one-dimensional, but I love it.

"Dead Ringers" (BBC2 Mon 9.00)  Not glad to see this one back though. Please, no more. It's not even that good most of the time, and it's been done to death. Put it out of it's misery.

"Stars Reunited" (BBC1 weekdays 10am)  Wonder which website gave them the idea for that then?  Nice idea, and most people find themselves saying "Oooh, I wonder what happened to...", but what's the point of Dale Winton?  Not just in the context of this show, but generally, what IS the point of Dale Winton?

"24"  (BBC2, Sun 10.00)  Is this still on? Seems like about 24 years now. One series is an interesting idea, 2 is overdoing it. Big Brother take note.

"Real Life: Unfit Parents?" (ITV, Mon 10.30)  See? I do serious from time to time. Confronting stereotypes & prejudices, blah blah. if you need me to tell you this bit, talk to the sociology lecturer at your local college, I'm sure they'll be happy to help. Anyway, far too many unanswered questions at the end of this - how did they cope with a carer that couldn't help with the shopping? Did they get pregnant again?  Good concept, handled with sensitivity, but it felt unfinished.

"Big Brother 4" (Channel 4, E4, forever)  Still going, just. Of course the bomb scare on Friday wasn't a publicity stunt! That's why they took the website down and gave out next to no information so people would talk about it! It was a microphone for goodness sake, that THEY'D put there. That's all I can really say this week, so little's happened.  So, Vote Lisa. She might be the only interesting one, but she's driving me daft.

Quiz answer of the week - Pale Blue


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Lorraines predictions for 2003

UK TV awards 2002 the Lorr's    Lorraine's lyrical tribute to xmas TV

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