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It's that time of year again, "The  Eurovision Song Contest" (BBC1 Sat, 8.00) Once again I planned to give you a Eurovision Special, once again I filled a page with thought-provoking commentary, and once again I found that once sober I couldn't read most of it. However, in no particular order the
following were still legible.
That dress is almost illegal.
If Shakira & Christina Aguilera had a baby.
Catch the booing?
Cow Heads?
Nice song, shame about the mouth.
Spinning elf.
She's got bad facial hair.
Lapdancing, where am I?
Terry is God.
Lets Get Gay, this is camp enough without encouragement.
Bondage Babe.

On to more highbrow things.  Or Not.  "Bargain Hunt Live" (BBC1, all week, 7.00)  Why? Orange Man Live. Random contestants in fancy dress all doing very badly, and this time it doesn't even have the justification of being for Children In Need. Instead I think the proceeds from the phone lines and any profit are going to BBC In Greed.  Shouldn't be allowed. How long before the "Cult Viewing" bubble bursts?

"Top Of The Pops 2 - Stripped" (BBC2, all week 6.45)  Stripped.  How appropriate considering Amanda Holden was the guest presenter? (What?  I'm not saying anything!)  Actually, love her or hate her, this week's worth of Tops2 had some good things going for it. Less obscure tracks and no pointless Nu-Country songs at the end. And the London Boys. Anything that features the London Boys just once will make me smile. More than once and it'll probably make me ill, but once is good.

"I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here, The Reunion" (ITV, Weds 9.00)  What a
let down. Catalina & Danniella sat next to each other like best buddies, and I was screaming out for a cat fight. Just not good enough. In all honesty this years I'm a Celeb has been dull as a week of cricket, and so I wasn't expecting any more from the reunion show, and that's exactly what I got.

It's here. The (alleged) TV event of the year.  "Big Brother 4" (Channel 4, from Friday until eternity, all the time) And what do we make of them so far? 5 dull blokes, 1 tarty bloke. 2 posh tart girls, 1 cheap tart girl, 3 dull girls. And the 2 Anouskas were so obviously chosen to create instant hostility between them, worked within 20 seconds of the blonde one walking in. First voting advice... difficult choice,  I want to see the bitchiness evolve & see if anything happens between Anouska & Federico (it won't,
but...)  but I can't stand hearing her any longer.  So, VOTE ANOUSKA!

Finally, quiz answer of the week - sillicone


Picture from Eurovision site click to visit.

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Lorraines predictions for 2003

UK TV awards 2002 the Lorr's    Lorraine's lyrical tribute to xmas TV

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